Oh Boy

have you ever wanted to just leave everything behind. maybe take that one person with you, but other than that, just leave? get away from all the drama and backstabbing and all the shit that goes on in high school? that's exactly what i'm wanting right now. school is gay. boys are gay. life is gay. i just want to give up. seriously. i know i have problems that probably don't seem as bad as other people's but i've never dealt with other people's problem, so i can't compare. don't judge me for thinking i'm having a hard time. ya, your's may be worse, but that doesn't mean i'm gonna pretend like i'm fine just to make you feel better. i'm so sick of people and their shit. seriously. i'm sick of people talking crap about me. i'm sick of him ignoring me. and i'm sick of all the things my friends are dumping on me. i want them to talk to me, but i don't want them to think i can fix everything. i'm a great listener, but seriously, have you seen how fucked up my life is? i'm no miracle worker, i can promise you that. and i can guarantee that my advice will only put you in the hole even more. i just want a sign that everything gets better. like one of these days i'll come home and my house won't be so crappy, or the boy will ask me out. just something. i just want to know that i'll be happy again. i've gotten so good at pretending i'm happy, when in fact i'm not. it seems like i'm never accually happy anymore... and i just want that to be over. i have no life. seriously. every weekend i'm at home, usually doing what i'm doing now. sitting on the computer being bored outta my mind, and really i'm sick of that. i haven't been in trouble in forever, i don't talk nearly as much as i used to, and i'm becoming shy. uhm, no. that's not gonna work for me. i love laughing and partying, but it's kinda hard since i'm becoming a recluse. if i was to to count every "i' in this blog, i'm sure i would be in the hundreds. everyone reading this, if anyone reads this, i'm sure you think i'm really concieted, but i'm not. i promise. read my about me, and you'll realize that. well i've gotta go.... write more later

XoXoX
Kelsey